It seems that bad news alway has to follow good news.

The Good News is, that Graduation tomorrw.

The Bad News is my Tio Chencho died...early this morning, at 3 [A.M.].

I was never really close to my uncle, but I did love him very much...The last time I saw him in a long time was just yesterday. And today, this morning i find out that he died over the answering machine at 5 A.M. And knowing that...hit me really hard. Yesterday, seeing him lying there...motionless...unaware of everything around him....i heard my dad talking earlier today about when he was with my uncle yesterday...he said that the last thing my uncle said...was his name....after that he had been in and out of conciousness....nothing but a vegitated state.

I'm excited to graduate. Exited, scared...it just seems so surreal to me...I've planned a party at my house after graduation, invited all my friends...but now i'm starting to think that they wont go to it....i know i shouldnt really care or not...but...still to me it means so much to me...to think that they even care... i need to feel that they care...It's just so simple....just....and hello goodbye show...but of course...i just put too much trust into the people i concider friends...it seems like i can never depend on anybody. And they wonder why I dont have many friends. that's funny isnt it. My 'friends' wonder why i dont have many friends.

I dont know if its death ridden depression or what, but this does seem to happen to me alot. Can anybody tell me what i'm doing wrong? So I can stop, so everything can be alright. You may not even care right now, but I've been crying through out this whole entire thing.

I just want to feel appriciated. That's all. It seems that the only people whole seem to care are Will and Katie....but then again they are the only people that I've really talked to...they are the only people who seems to appreciate me...but even sometimes i doubt that.

But all I can say now is-- i can't wait until college starts. I can start everything fresh...Begin a whole new life. Make more friends...If i can even do that.

Also, I'd like to thank anybody who has read this...It really does mean alot to me...you have not even the sightest clue....Thank you. But please...show that you care in person...but i mean really show....Don't say that you'll pay me back sometime...and then just use me to your advantage again. Yes I know I seem to walk right into it by offering...But thats just who i am...but maybe i should just stop...let you fend for yourself.